Tomorrow is my little guy's first day of school. He's my first child to enter school, so naturally, like any other parent, I'm more anxious than he is. I've spent part of the summer overanalyzing the backpack I bought him, the lunches I'll make him and of course his development. My son, like myself, didn't hit developmental milestones as expected. In fact, my development at his age was so behind, educational therapists didn't believe I'd pass high school. Obviously, their predictions were incorrect. Despite this I'm still fearing my son's first few days at school. He's bright; he knows his colours, ABC's, 123's and shapes, but he struggles to communicate. I worry that he won't be able to explain to his friends and teachers what's upsetting him if he's sad. I also worry that he won't be able to tell other children if he can join them in a game. A family member reminded me that children have their own language and seem to communicate with each other even if they have few words. This was a consolation to me; he son had difficulties with talking, too.
But then I question, am I really anxious over his first day of school, or am I more anxious of that fact that this will be the first of many Life Launches for him? I'm starting to think it's the latter. I realize that this is only the beginning of many public 'firsts' my son will have; the first time he tries out for a sports team, the first time he asks a girl out or when he first applies to jobs. Life is full of launching. It's constant and never-ending. What I hope for my son is that in the face of failure, he doesn't give up. I think that's where the real anxiety lies. I think people that tend to be successful in life have a lot of grit and can deal with failure. I hope that my son will always be willing to learn from his failures so that when he tries again, he succeeds.
With Touchdown days away from being published on Amazon, my old fears of failure are setting in again, too. Which is funny; when I published Maid For Majesty the first time, I truly believed that once I got my first book out, things would become easier. Nope! LOL! Here I am on my fourth book, my heart beating out of it's chest, fearing that it may get bad reviews...or worse no reviews at all! But as anxious as I am for September 10th I've come to understand that no matter how it goes, I want to be a full time writer so badly...I'll probably keep publishing and knocking on the doors of opportunity.
I suppose it's the same for my son; even if his first day doesn't go so well, there will be many days full of ups and downs.
Here's to trying and never giving up!